I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
