Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
