It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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