she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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