the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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