Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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