ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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