and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
