I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
