New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize