Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
