I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
