I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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