If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
