Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
