she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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