quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
