just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
