you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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