Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
