just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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