she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
