I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think i have two assholes
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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