Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
