and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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