She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
