True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
