guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
