In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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