Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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