of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My vagina is officially offended.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
