You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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