Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
