I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
