I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It was confusing and full of hummus
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
