i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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