Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
