Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize