I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
