I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
