I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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