ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
