Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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