In the future we'll all be gay
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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