She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
