she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
