You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
