she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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