I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
