This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
