And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You are the jesus of drinking
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
