Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
