3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
