she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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