Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
