Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
