hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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