i just wanna soil my oats bro
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
