Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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