I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
