Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
