Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
